Best Dating Sites In Your 30s

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As the rules of society evolve, thankfully, so are the rules of dating. Millennials are statistically getting married later or choosing not to get married at all. In fact, the 30s are now widely considered the beginning of the prime dating years (thank you, Sex and the City). Why, you ask? Well, according to relationship experts, dating in your 30s (and beyond) presents some very real benefits.

'I find that people have more clarity with what they want and what they need in their 30s as opposed to their 20s,' explains Dr. Hernando Chaves, a licensed marriage and family therapist. 'They have a better understanding of what makes them happy and what qualities in a partner complement them best as they mature as individuals.'

Dr. Valeria Chuba, a clinical sexologist, sex educator, and host of the Get Sex-Smart podcast, also weighs in on why dating in this decade is better. 'As a woman, dating in your 30s can be a great deal more enjoyable and satisfying than dating in your teens and 20s,' she says. 'By then, women begin to care less about what society thinks of them, or what they 'should' be doing, and begin to focus on what’s really important to them.'

Ahead, find more expert insights on why dating in your 30s is the best, and hear from two single women who have experienced it firsthand.

You Have A Better Understanding Of Who You Are

'For a number of people, our 30s is a period in our lives where we look to create balance, manage mental health concerns, focus on self-care, and deepen our social relationships,' explains Dr. Hernando Chaves. 'This can create happiness in our lives and help fill the voids we didn't realize existed in our 20s.'

Dating

Dating in your 40s is different from dating in your 20s and 30s, so we've rounded up expert advice to make your dating experience a good one. The Best Dating Sites for People Over 40.

Dating
  1. However, when you’re dating in your 30s you may have more of a sense of urgency and there are certain things to keep in mind. Here are the 6 things you need to know: 1. Happy hours are something to take full advantage of. Many single people in their 30s are working full-time jobs. That means, they’re going to bed and getting up earlier than.
  2. The Best Dating Sites & Apps For Men 40+ 1. Match is the most popular paid dating site in existence, and you’ll find plenty of attractive, successful women in their 30s+. The monthly subscription fee helps weed out women who aren’t serious about meeting up, so you won’t find as many fakes and flakes as you would on a free site like.

Lena Minervino, a 38-year-old development director and single mother of three, says a shift in perspective completely changed her dating life. '[My dating habits] continued to be similar until my mid-30s when I took a long, hard look at who I had chosen to be in relationships with,' she recalls. 'So much about who I dated had a lot to do with my insecurities, making similar (bad) choices in partners, and lack of self-care.' Fueling her self doubt was the fact that she had children from a previous relationship. 'As a single mom to three kids, I used to be insecure about sharing my story,' she admits. 'I worried about what [my dates] would think.'

Best Online Dating Sites In Your 30s

But Minervino's confidence began to build when she started putting herself first: She landed a great job, got into a healthy routine, worked through some issues with a therapist, and became more involved in her community. 'The work I did and continue to do for myself, the self-care I make a priority in my life, and [making sure] I have a life outside of being a mom has been key,' she says.

Dr. Chuba notes that mature women are not only better at identifying their needs, they're more equipped to take action. 'Qualities that many women are still developing in their teens and 20s, like good communication skills (especially the ability to advocate for themselves and ask for what they need and want), healthy boundaries, assertiveness, emotional maturity — all these qualities become more available to women by the time they reach their 30s.'

You Know What You Want (And Don't Want) In A Partner

'In my college years, I settled hard,' states April Cohen, a 38-year-old realtor. While she's dated plenty of people who were not right for her in the years since, 'I cut them off much quicker than I did when I was younger.'

Sites

Although both Cohen and Minervino have grown less tolerant of anyone who wastes their time, they're also more open-minded when it comes to dating. 'I used to be wicked selective and had this perfect man in my head,' Cohen reveals. But she says that, in retrospect, this was a hindrance. 'You never know who a guy is going to turn out to be. [...] You just have to give it a date or two to really figure it out.' Worst-case scenario? A bad date 'will help you further figure out what you don't want and [give you] the confidence that the right man will come along.' Minervino adds that she, too, dated 'different types of people' as she became more self-aware. Not only did it help bolster her confidence, she explains, 'nearly three years of just dating [with] no intimate relations was the most empowering experience I've had.'

'I see a lot of my female clients in their 30s dating casually for awhile before focusing on finding a more permanent relationship,' Dr. Chuba points out. 'What matters most is that you have clarity about both who you are and about the kind of relationship you’re looking for.'

You're Less Likely To Settle

What is the best dating site for 30 year olds

Often maturity brings a new set of priorities. When the proverbial timeline is no longer a factor, you can focus on the relationship, as opposed to the milestone it represents. 'I'm not as focused on checking off the list (getting married) or finding my soulmate,' says Minervino. 'My freedom, alone space in my home, feeling confident and comfortable attending events alone, are things I never thought [I would enjoy]. Even dating without labels, enjoying the time I spend with people, being present, and not thinking too far in the future is fantastic.'

Cohen, who was formerly married in her 20s, agrees. 'I'm in no rush to find 'that person' because I really want it to be right,' she says. 'Going through a divorce is not fun. I hope to never have to go through that again.' She'd like to find her 'forever man' eventually, but 'until then, I'll keep dating until it clicks and we are both 100 percent in ... and I'll have all the fun doing so!'

Best Dating Sites In Your 30s Vs

In addition to refusing to settle for a partner, women who date in their 30s are less likely to settle for perceived societal expectations. 'It’s important that your choices are based on what you truly want and need, rather than on societal pressure, other people’s expectations, anxiety, or fear of being alone,' reminds Dr. Chuba. 'We make our best choices when we feel calm, centered, and confident about our self-worth and value. No matter what kind of dating experience you’re trying to create, do it with that mindset in mind, and you will be successful.'

Why online dating is good

It’s interesting how, with certain patterns, you can make a great online dating profile.I spoke with Whitney Perry, the founder of the Single Online Dating Guide, who shared a great analogy.If you are wearing a dress that has zippers up the side, you can show what the dress looks like in a different way to different people by zipping it up a bit. The same thing is true for online dating profiles. With different profiles you can show a different side to different people. Maybe your body is a little softer in some photos, or you are extra shy and don’t like the camera or you have a weird-looking nose, or maybe you are cool in person but not so much on paper. When you show a different side to your online dating profile, people get a better impression. Your profile is less like a resume and more like an item you are trying to sell. So, unless your marketing team is a super awesome, skilled team, online dating profiles should only show what you like. You are trying to get out of a space where people are going to feel the need to make assumptions about who you are. And if they do, they are wrong. You don’t have to have an amazing job, amazing car, or money, and you don’t have to be super outgoing, friendly, smart, attractive or wear a dress that reveals a lot of skin or be a brunette.

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